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Mom. A job description.

January 31, 2012



Hours: 24 Hours per day, seven days per week. Nights, weekends, holidays. No vacation–EVER. No over time provided–although your husband might throw you a bone occasionally with a sweet boutique gift card or day at the spa. Must be willing to wake at 4am…even if you just got to bed at two.

Duties include: Ass wiping, snot disposal, refusing to flinch while finicky toddlers spit random objects of food into your hand…booger removal, feeding, dressing, bathing highly combative wee ones who may or may not bite.

Skills: chasing half naked munchkins with a diaper in one hand and jammies in the other. Cooking meals for tough critics that will often spit them out or drop the entire plate on the floor. Did I mention hours upon hours of wooing these little people into a sound night’s slumber hours past your own bedtime?

Uniform: Anything washable that can be covered in drool, food, or other toxic waste.


Damn. They’re crying again. I knew I got off too easy.

Blog time not included.

One Comment leave one →
  1. February 1, 2012 12:57 am Haaaaa!

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