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30 Days of Cooking Light– Day 5 Lemon Biscotti with Sour Lemon Drizzle

July 22, 2011

You can find the recipe here:

I am constantly guilty of bad ideas.

There was the bad hair color, Morgan’s first birthday cake, and ANY time that I try to create something crafty involving glue and scissors.  I have great ideas…but poor follow through. I lack the baking gene. Yes…my cookies and cakes are barely even something that my family can like…much less love.

Why do I do it? Why torture myself? Why scrape another fallen cake or burnt batch of cookies down the garbage disposal? Because I am in denial. Four months go by and suddenly I’m having visions of Martha Stewart. Oh yes! I think as I flip through recipes…I can make a two tiered cake with fondant icing…why not? It’s as if I’ve never struggled over a boxed mix in my life. Baking involves tears, people. TEARS…for pete’s sake.

So, I decided to make the biscotti anyway.

I gathered up my ingredients and whipped up the dry portion of the recipe in a flash. Then, I grabbed a second bowl and started on the wet ingredients. I opened my egg container and (cue the horror movie slasher music) only had 2 of the three eggs required. I called a neighbor and got no answer. I googled egg substitutes and came across the instructions to substitute 1.5 Tbs oil, 1.5 tbs water, and 1 tsp baking powder. Done! I was rocking and rolling….

I turned the dough out on to the counter and began to knead…at least I tried to knead. The recipe said that my dough would be crumbly and dry. My dough was wet and um…gluey. Very gluey. It stuck to my hands…from knuckle to finger tip. It stuck to my counter and refused to lift off as I again attempted to knead. I lost my fork while attempting to scrape this gosh awful mess up into a ball.

I realized as the ball of lemon scented liquid cement reached disaster proportions that I had not put out a cookie sheet to even drop it on if I could scoop it up…my hands were covered in several inches of goo.

I called sweetly to Morgan and walked him through opening the baby proofed cabinets (a cinch for a clever boy like him!) and showed him where Mommy’s cookie sheet was located. We got it onto the counter as his sister’s wailing reached a fever pitch. “Sorry babe” I soothed her “Mama has cookie hands”. I heaved the sloppy glob of dough on to the cookie sheet…sans the recommended cooking spray…and walked like the cookie crusted bride of Frankenstein to the sink. Once there, I washed approximately 50% of the dough down the drain.

Cooking tip for the baking challenged: You can use a rubber scraper—such as those handy pampered chef scrapers–to get the dough off of the counter. Adding water and paper towels comes dangerously close to paper mache with a refreshing lemon scent!

Ok…so it was off to the oven for my one loaf of cookie dough. The recipe said that I would have two, but obviously I had lost a lot of the product in the kneading. Good thing this was an afternoon snack and not our dinner. You can see why I stay the heck away from quiche and pastry pot pies…

 Shut up about the asymmetry! I’m doing the best that I can 🙂

Morgan and I did get the biscotti sliced and back on to a new (larger) pan for baking. Instead of 30…We had 16. Whatever. Like I needed to eat 30 cookies?

We pulled off the glaze without incident. Likely because I let my 4 year old do it!

The biscotti actually tasted good! A bit softer than they should have been in the center…but light and full of lemon flavor all the same. Heck..I’m just thrilled that they could be identified as biscotti after the dough disaster.

I doubt that Martha ever said this…but If I can do it…you can do it (better).

5 Comments leave one →
  1. Bonnie permalink
    July 22, 2011 1:12 pm

    They turned out looking good (good since you had to post a pic)! And if they tasted good, too, SCORE!!! 🙂

  2. July 22, 2011 5:57 pm

    They look (and sound) sooooo good! As soon as the temp dips below 90 degrees around here, I am definitely trying this recipe!

    • July 23, 2011 4:14 pm

      I’m thinking that the crazy hot temps here might have affected the dough as well…let me know when you make it. I’d love to hear about it…you are such a better baker 🙂

  3. July 23, 2011 4:08 am

    so funny. i’ve cried while cooking too…likely a few times…so i feel your pain, but it’s funny, you’re cooking impresses the hell outta me! you attempt stuff daily that would put me in tears! long lists of ingredients scare me!

    • July 23, 2011 4:13 pm

      don’t let the ingredient lists scare you! I used to feel the same way 🙂 Most of the time I look for things that are “quick and easy”…but the more you practice the better it gets!

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