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Questions for blogging mommies?!?

May 27, 2008

A shot of my dad with Morgan from last week’s visit–so sweet!
OK blogging mommies–please help us out….
1. How did you get your newly arrived kiddos to nap during the day in their cribs?? Morgan will only sleep when we are holding him and it keeps us from getting anything done as well as shortens his nap because we are always interrupted by a phone…a potty break…a doorbell…
2. What solid foods were most acceptable at 11months? Morgan “hates” anything in a jar. Will eat avocado, banana, toast, and mashed potatoes/tilapia. We also discovered that he has a love for Carlos and Mickey’s refried beans….but his dietitian mama is appalled at the lack of quality in his diet.
The clinging is SLOWLY resolving. He is playing a bit more independently and has switched some attention to his daddy. HOORAY.
please PLEASE talk to me about daytime naps…we are DESPERATE. Morgan acts like I am trying to give him away if I even put him on a pillow on the couch next to me. He believes that he MUST be held during the daytime hours.
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15 Comments leave one →
  1. May 27, 2008 11:54 pm

    Morgan sounds so much like Cami did when we got home. To get her to nap I would take her on a walk in the stroller until she fell asleep and just leave her in the stroller or I would wear her in our baby carrier….. Sometimes I could get her to fall asleep on me and after while kind of roll to the side and slide her off me onto the bed.

  2. jjm permalink
    May 28, 2008 1:26 am

    I know gas is like a zillion bucks a gallon, but have you tried going for a drive? That was my only recourse when we first got home. Until I found the ocnfidence to transfer to his crib and know he would stay asleep I would go to the park, roll the windows down and let him sleep while I did work on my blackberry. Desperate times called for desperate measures.As for food… mashed potato, mashed sweet potato, acorn squash, applesauce, that newish quaker naturals apple cinnamon oatmeal with flax seeds and stuff (he loves that), and oat bran or steel cut oats with butter and parmesan cheese (high calorie but he was underweight). If Morgan tends to skew more towards savory/salty I’d give the oats a try. Bex loved them.

  3. Sandra & Steve permalink
    May 28, 2008 2:31 am

    My pediatrician had the best advice, he said she needs to learn how to fall asleep. Don’t let her keep falling asleep somewhere (like in your arms) and then SURPRISE, wake up in her crib,with that YIKES how did I get HERE feeling?! Get a routine, see the “I’m sleepy” signs of fussiness, fighting sleep, eye rubbing, ear pulling,etc. Then maybe give a bottle, dim the lights, talk about nap time and put the child in her crib to sleep on a schedule. Here’s the hard part – let him cry a bit while he works it all out. That’s the hardest part. I don’t mean leave him crying for over 15 minutes and I don’t mean let him work himself into a frenzy but do let him cry a bit, go in, let him know you’re there to check on him but then leave him in the crib, with a blanket and a few toys or stuffed animals. It takes time and patience and judgement, but he needs to have a life outside of your arms. That’s healthy for both of you. Trust me, he’s figured out you are there for him, why else would he insist on you all day every day, lol! By the way, know it won’t work every day, babies are just like us, sometimes they just aren’t tired. Hope this helps.Sorry for the long post. I just brought my beautiful girl home from VN in April. Sometimes she even naps! Sometimes. Every baby is different, trust YOUR instincts.

  4. Michelle permalink
    May 28, 2008 2:46 am

    Jen – I am not sure on the sleeping but I can tell you lots on the food. That is great that he will eat what you listed. I’ve made all of Oliver’s baby food and have several recipe books for age appropriate baby stuff. Like you, I am very into healthy eating for him. His current favorite are pancakes which have sweet potato puree in them. He also loves pureed mango, peach, banana – all kinds of fruits. Not sure if your little guy can do milk products but yo baby yogurt is good too. Anyway please let me know if I can help – I can email you foods that have worked for him and recipes. I just finished making a batch of corn, squash and chicken (to hide the chicken taste, which he does not like!)

  5. Jill permalink
    May 28, 2008 12:16 pm

    Our pediatrician said it’s all about consistency and cues at naptime/bedtime. Same song, same bath time, same routine. Then place him in his crib, kiss him and tell him you love him, and leave the room. Make sure the nursery is as dark as possible. If need be, let him cry for a couple of minutes, or until you can’t take it any longer. Good luck! We’re still working through the same issues.

  6. Kristi C. permalink
    May 28, 2008 1:11 pm

    Hey Jen!I have to say … I agree with Jill and Sandra & Steve … consistency in a routine, and allowing him to “learn” how to get to sleep on his own have been key for us. We do the same “going-to-bed” routine every day that sounds a lot like what Jill was talking about. And like what Sandra & Steve said – it may take some time (and maybe even a few tears until he figures out he can get to sleep in his crib on his own) but it might be quicker than you think! When we first started the routine with Tinsae (a few months after he came home – we were suckers for a while!) it only took about 3 nights (for the night-time routine) for things to go totally smoothly. Now, it’s so that after our bedtime stories and bath and pajama time and kisses – Tinsae tells us “night night – other room Mommy – see you ‘morrow!”Good luck – and call any time!!!Kristi

  7. Anonymous permalink
    May 28, 2008 5:16 pm

    Jen,I have to agree with the others on consistency and crib at nap/bedtime. It won’t be easy, but so worth it for both you and Morgan when you get this accomplished…you will both be soooo happy. As far as food goes, my daughter was 8 mo. when we brought her home from Vietnam, and like Morgan she would not eat ANY baby food from a jar. Cant say I blame her though…yuk! I started giving her table food and she loved it. Her favorites were fruits and veggies, especially peas and carrots. I would buy the frozen bags at the grocery store and just cook up a handful until they were nice and soft. Perfect finger food. She also LOVED and still loves any kind of pasta with sauce on it. Ditilini is a great one to start with…easy for little fingers to pick up. Another favorite is turkey meatballs, or any meatballs for that matter. I cut them up on her tray and she goes crazy! What about yogurt with bananas cut up in it, or flavored oatmeal? She only had 2 teeth in the front when she started eating all of this stuff. Really, all of it can be easily eaten with just gums. Good luck!DawnKatie’s Mom

  8. Sue Ann permalink
    May 28, 2008 7:04 pm

    Hi Jen,When Andrew was 11 months, we used all the good tricks–the stroller, the car, dancing in the dark, rhythmic walking, binkies. Whatever it took to get a pinch of sanity.For more of a long-term solution, we used two books: The Ferber method and The Sleepeasy solution. Both stress routines, consistency, and providing babies the opportunity to “self-soothe” (i.e. let them cry but go in and talk to them periodically to let them know you’re still there for them). I like The Sleepeasy Solution book because it’s basically Ferber method, but in an easy, how-to format (which is great for sleep-deprived parents). I would be wary, though, about letting Morgan cry-it-out too much if he’s still adjusting to a new environment. I’m not sure how long that takes. Whatever you do, trust your instincts and don’t do anything that feels wrong.Regarding food, it was (and still is) trial and error for us and just when we figure out what Andrew likes, his tastes change. Of course, we’d like him to eat healthy, but sometimes we do well just to get something in his gut. At 11 months, he liked fruit and some veggies from a jar, but he preferred table food. He liked pureed sweet potatoes, applesauce, meatballs, lasagna, and chicken pot pie. And, of course, Cheerios (the multi-grain Cheerios in the purple box seem to contain more iron than other Cheerio varieties and they’re lightly sweetended).Call if you need to,Sue Ann

  9. Ali & JJ permalink
    May 28, 2008 7:48 pm

    HeyAs for Xavier and his daytime naps. We put him down in his crib with his bottle, he isnt a bottle player, when he has one he drinks it all in one sitting, after 10 minutes I go in take the empty bottle and if he isnt already asleep (most of the time he is) I tell him night night wind up the music and leave. In rare cases where crying ensue’s we do what we do at night which is lay him down night night, we love you, leave for 5 min, go back in do the same thing wiat 10 min, we add 5 min to the time betwwen going back to him by 5 min. We have never gotten to the 15 min mark. Works like a charm.As for food, because of the no teeth thing, we are giving jar food, he loves it, but we have bought a baby food grinder and are hoping to soone move to grinding everything. But I would think anything mashed would be a winner.I hope you are all doing great!Alison, Jeremy and Xavier

  10. Ali & JJ permalink
    May 28, 2008 7:49 pm

    Oh and I second the other commetns about the same schedule every day, and every book I have read says put them down drowsy but awake.

  11. Nicki permalink
    May 29, 2008 1:58 am

    Piping in to add that the daytime nap thing can be rough even for biobabies. I had a baby who would only nap in my arms as well. He outgrew it when he was around 2 but it was a long 2 years. Seeing what he’s like now, I’m glad I didn’t force him out of it even though it totally sucked for me. For your baby, though, he is still deeply in the most important bonding time. can you throw him in a sling or baby carrier and get stuff done while he naps away on you? What about putting him down somewhere other than his crib? I suggest a “pallet” on the floor of blankets – soft but super-easy to transition to. I also always just had my babies nap on my bed (and sleep there at night too) and kept the monitor up very high and padded the sides with pillows. If Morgan is very mobile and quiet this probably would not be ideal though. Also to echo what JJM said, we did the car thing (also the stroller thing) countlessly with Noah (the inarms napper) for years too. Some babies just *need* more for sleep time. It is definitely not something I would try to break, especially when he’s just at the beginning stages of bonding. I do COMPLETELY sympathize with you!!!!As for diet, avocado all the way! Also brown rice, peas, whole wheat pasta cooked soft. There are lots of fruits that fit the bill.

  12. The Gregs permalink
    May 29, 2008 2:05 am

    Oh Man is Morgan ever cute! Sorry no good advice. I think parenting is a lot like a (love)guided experiment, at least it has been for me. You are doing great.

  13. Kelly permalink
    May 29, 2008 6:47 pm

    Sorry I am just now getting around to commenting on this one, but I would like to share a bit. I agree with Nicki that you guys are in a critical bonding stage right now. He needs you. He is still totally adjusting to new everything and I imagine that he is still very unsettled and confused at times. So, I personally do not recommend letting him cry at this point, but again, this is just my opinion.When Lucy came home, it took months of getting her used to being home before she had any sort of a nap schedule at all. I know life would be so much easier if Morgan would just nap in his crib, but it is probably going to take a while to get him to that point. Lucy would nap on me every afternoon – that was the only way that she would nap for anything longer than about 15 minutes. I knew she needed the sleep, so I just laid down on my bed with her on my chest. Again, I realize that this is not the most convenient scenario, but in the beginning it is all about meeting Morgan’s needs. I certainly do not think that our kids are trying to manipulate us or sucker us into their wants at this point. They are simply letting us know that they need us right now, and that is a really good thing. Lucy is an awesome sleeper now, but it took some work to get there.I am sure you are feeling like you are not getting anything done around the house that needs to be done. My advice is this (and I was told this by countless moms that I really look up to), the housework can wait. Do small amounts of it when you can, but focus on Morgan right now. It is not easy having a messy house when you are used to it being clean all of the time, but you will get back into the swing of things at some point and it will all get done. It was really hard for me to adhere by this, but I did and now our house is back to being clean again and all is well. But there were several months where I just had to realize that I could not do it all. I know many others suggested a sling, and I totally agree with them. I could get a lot done with Lucy in the sling and she was totally happy.I am sorry that this is so long, but one more thing that I have learned from other APs is that we should not put high expectations on our babies. They are going to do things differently and at a different pace and that is perfectly fine. We want and expect our kids to nap on a schedule in their crib or eat a certain way because everyone else’s kids are doing it and life would be so much easier if ours would do the same. But it is not that simple. They have special and unique needs that we have to meet. I always try and put myself in Lucy’s shoes in situations where she is having a hard time. Then I can’t blame her for clinging to me like a monkey, resisting strangers, and refusing to sleep alone because she has been through a lot in her short little life, just like Morgan has. It takes a lot of time for them to heal and trust. Again, sorry this is so long. You are doing a great job. I know it is so hard at first. And exhausting. Morgan will get there, he just needs some extra time, attention, and closeness to his momma to do it.

  14. Kelley permalink
    June 2, 2008 8:59 pm

    Aside from many of the other suggestions you have received-both my kids loved yogurt, any kind of melon, and edamame (soy beans) that I would split in half. My daughter liked any kind of bean- black eyed peas, kidney or lima.

  15. lee permalink
    June 3, 2008 2:14 am

    You have some superb advice here! Go ladies! I could copy and paste Jo and Kelly’s answers for mine too, so I will spare you!We also did the blanket pallet on the floor, otherwise she was napping on me, or in the sling for several months.You will get there…promise!Zoe is 13 months and JUST now cutting her incisors. She has never eaten jar food, and eats everything we eat.I would puree it for a while and she started to turn it away, so I left it a little chunkier, and just increased. The girl eats like a champ. People are in awe at what the girl can eat with no chompers! he he!xoxo

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